Weirdo. Aspie.
Dissipation
There’s a smell like honeysuckle
in the morning dew-drop air.
And as the sun evaporates the fog,
I am evaporated too,
lifted up into the sherbet sky of a Springtime dawn
until I am dissipated out to fine motes of dust
which scatter wildly in the wind
until they find a far-away shore and settle
as refugees amongst the grains of sand
on the dunes of an ancient ocean floor.
Let the Dogs Have Their Fun
Almost all the snow has melted into muddy puddles that huddle against the chain link fence and there’s a steady drizzle of rain.
I fear the dogs will redecorate the kitchen floor using damp paws and wet underbellies.
But then my emotions shift like sand and I find a strange joy as I disregard reason and let the dogs have their fun.
I watch from my window as the seasons revolve, and I can tell that Winter’s end is near. I hear Spring in the sound of the windchimes, coupled with the drumming of the rain against the back porch.
And when the dogs return to the door, soaked and happy and begging to come inside, I open up and feed them treats and ignore the muddy puddles all over the floor.
Because cleaning up can wait. I want to stay in the happy moment of the now.
Wayfinding
If I were an ancient
Wayfinder
Wandering the world in
search of solace,
The stars and sea would be
useless to me.
I would look instead to you
as my beacon,
Because you are my home.
Loving Again After a Loss
Two years ago today we lost our beloved dog Cheyenne:
She was a beautiful, sweet, intelligent dog. We had her from the time that she was eight weeks old, and she lived for over fourteen years. I still think of her every day, and miss her dearly.
Six weeks after we lost Cheyenne, we rescued Foxy, our Husky/Chesapeake Bay Retriever mix:
Foxy is very well-behaved, and she instantly fit in with our home and family. But for me, the pain of losing Cheyenne was still too fresh and raw, so I held back on being as affectionate with her as I should have been. It wasn’t fair to her, but it felt like a betrayal to open my heart to another dog so soon. As a result, she attached to Michael more than to me.
One year later, we got our second dog, an Australian Shepherd:
I named her Lakota. It felt like a fitting tribute to Cheyenne, and after a year I felt more ready to love a dog in the same way again. Lakota is very much my dog, and although she is a little brat, I do love her dearly.
However, I still feel a little hesitation to love her too much because I remember how much it hurt to say goodbye to Cheyenne.
So, how do you open your heart again after such a loss? I know that someday we will have to say goodbye to Foxy and Lakota, and the very thought tears me up. So why own a pet at all, knowing that it will all end in pain?
Because ultimately, it’s worth it. I mean, look at those adorable faces. And when they curl up next to you to sleep, or bring you their favorite toy and ask to play, you’re reminded time and again that they are wonderful and worthy of our love.
Road Trip Part 2: Snacks
I posted last week about our upcoming road trip to North Carolina and the need for the ultimate music playlist. If music is the most important aspect of the trip, then snacks for the road have to be a very close second. My ultimate goal is to not have to stop for a full meal.
There is a fine art to getting snacks for a road trip. The snacks can’t be too messy or smelly. They have to be able to be served at or near room temperature (although we will have a small cooler for drinks). You need to have a mix of sweet, salty, and spicy. And of course, they have to be tasty 🙂
So with all of this in mind, the boys and I went to Wal-Mart earlier this week to stock up, and I think we did a pretty decent job. The boys got their favorite flavors of Pop-Tarts (Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Strawberry Milkshake), I got my mandatory Hot Fries and Munchos, and we will be making a whole mess of PB&J sandwiches the day before we leave.
The only problem? I think we did our shipping trip a bit too early. The Pop-Tart boxes have already been open, Hunter and I have devoured half the Hot Fries, and the dogs ate my Munchos while we were out of the house yesterday.
Since we will obviously need to make another snack run, I wanted to ask for your input. What are your favorite snacks to take on the road? Post in the comments below what you think we should add to our shopping list.
Building the Ultimate Road Trip Playlist
The boys and I are taking a road trip to North Carolina in a few weeks, and I have a whole list of things I need to do to get ready. The car needs an oil change, I need to check my stock of Dramamine for Logan, and of course (perhaps most importantly) I need to build the ultimate road trip playlist.
Luckily the boys and I share a similar taste in music, which makes the task of creating a shared playlist a little bit easier. But how do you fill nearly twelve hours with music? Do you allow repeats? Do you have a structured list or just a random shuffle? Do you include new music that you have been meaning to listen to, or stick to the classics?
I would love to hear your ideas/suggestions. Post them in the comments below and I’ll be sure to check them out!
What I Miss When I’m on Vacation
Recently my family went on an extended vacation to the Caribbean, and it was awesome. There, that’s all of the bragging I will do about my vacation (because I’m humble like that). But I want to write about one of the things that I missed the most while I was away.
Of course, the things I really missed the most are the things that you would expect: my parents, my dogs, my friends, etc. One of the unexpected things though? Google.
I have to admit that as a person who loves knowledge, I think that Google is one of the greatest things ever invented. It’s like having all of the libraries and encyclopedias in the world at your fingertips. Want to know how many hearts an octopus has? Google it! Need to know the lyrics to “American Pie”? Google it! Have the sudden urge to learn some new cockney rhyming slang? Google is there for you!
So while I am on vacation, I literally make a list of all of the things that I want to Google once I get back into my cell phone’s data range. Am I the only one who does these things? I feel like this is one of those weird things that only I would think of. Fun tip though, if you ever need a way to kill a few hours at the airport though, this is a great way to fill the time.
This little quirk of mine also inspired me to think about articles for this website. I often Google some pretty unique things, and I have been thinking of late that all of this input needs some output. So would you lovely readers be interested in reading a semi-regular series of “What Did j Look up Today?”
Let me know your thoughts!
The Forest for the Trees ? ?
I’ve been looking for a new job since the beginning of the year, but so far I’ve not had much luck.
A few weeks ago, I thought that I was really close to landing what seemed to be a perfect job. I jumped through all of the company’s hoops (including a phone screen, a phone interview, and two video interviews with a recruiter, two personality tests, an accounting test, an in-person interview, and a panel interview) and made it to the “final” interview. I was told that a decision would be made the next day, but then… nothing. I sent a “thank you” email, hoping for some sort of response. Still nothing.
After waiting a full week, I finally emailed the recruiter, who told me that he believed “they are planning to move someone else into the… position” but that “there may be another position that is coming open that you may be a great fit for… details on that any time now.”
It’s been over a week since I received this email, and I’m starting to think that it was just a line, like “no need to reapply, we’ll keep your resume on file for future consideration.”
I’m starting to think that searching for a job is a lot like dating. You spend lots of time looking at online profiles until you finally get a bite. You exchange a few emails, phone calls, and then agree to meet in person. You get dressed up, do your hair, makeup and nails. You try to present your best self, sharing your hopes and goals. You have a great discussion. You leave feeling confident that it’s a match, that this may just be the one, only to have them totally ghost on you.
What can you do other than try again?
I had a great phone interview earlier this week, followed by an awesome interview yesterday for a job that would be even more perfect for me than the “perfect” job I missed out on.
So what is the moral of this story? And why did I title this post “The Forest for the Trees ??”? Because I’ve come to accept that the path of our lives is like a winding path through the forest. And even though we may be disappointed by an unexpected turn, or see something that we desire that we cannot reach from our path; even though we cannot see our destination, we must trust that there is an overarching plan, and a force that’s looking out for us, guiding us towards the destination that is ultimately best for us. Whether you call it God, the Universe, Allah, the Great Spirit or any other name, you can take take comfort in the fact that your disappointments and failures are actually clearing the way for your greatest successes.
Crash. Burn. Reset.
My credit card was compromised in August. Which sucked. I had to go to the bank, sign paperwork, get a new card, wait for charges to be contested, etc. I don’t know how it happened, but I wasn’t too concerned. I got my new card, updated all of my auto-pay accounts and went on with my life.
Except, I didn’t update all of my auto-pays. I neglected to update the auto-pay for the management of this site, and by the time I caught it (this morning), everything had been totally erased.
Gone.
I could probably try to retrieve everything and re-post it (I might still do that). But I might just look at it as an opportunity to move forward. Work on a few new post series ideas. Update this site a bit more often.
What do you guys think? Should I try to recover my old content or just let it all go and start fresh?